CELEBUTAUNT (V.) suh-‘leb-yu-tont To mock and jeer at celebrities when they suffer misfortunes or make gaffes, either because you’ve got nothing better to talk about, or because it’s your job. Also (n.), a published item or spoken remark that mocks or exults over a celebrity’s stumbles. Usage: Banzai Blazer licked his lips as he posted a gloating report on his blog about an actor whose porn-star wife had left him for a bisexual DJ. He hoped the celebutaunt would win him a mention on TMZ.
RECIPLAY (V.) ‘ress-i-play To cook without a recipe, adding a little bit of this, a little bit of that, sometimes producing a triumph, sometimes a mess. Usage: Ethan was proud of his freestyling way of cooking without cookbooks, recipes, or measuring spoons—even though the results were often inedible. But sometimes his reciplaying produced a masterpiece, which bummed out his roommates, because he couldn’t repeat it, having had no recipe.
ZAGATTITUDE (N.) za-‘gat-i-tood Mindset of one who always has a firm, vocal opinion on where, what and how to eat—informed by Zagats, Chowhound, and other foodie bibles. Usage: They all just wanted pizza, but Blake, flexing his Zagattitude, insisted they go to a pricey new tapas place he’d read about.
§-An egret’s plume to Anthony, for the inspiration, and John, for the word.
Exchillarated (Adj.) ex-‘tchil-lur-ayt-ud Filled with exuberant, playful joy by cold, wintry weather. (Also (N.) exchillaration.) Usage: Ava and Sebastian, their mittens encrusted in snow, took turns sledding down the hill, red-cheeked and laughing, exchillarated by the winter wonderland.
§-An egret’s plume to Meghan for the inspiration.
GINGRENE (N.) ‘ghin-green Usage: The American economy, though weakened by the financial collapse of 2008 and the Euro crisis in 2011, was just getting back on its feet when Newt Gingrich’s 2012 presidential campaign started to gain heat— putting the recovery at risk as the threat of Gingrene loomed.
WONDER DUTY (Phrase) ‘wun-dur ‘doo-tee At holidays, the task of assembling presents, filling stockings, hiding Easter eggs or afikomens, lighting Magic Pumpkins or Diwali lights, etc.— without being seen by the children. (A task that generally falls to the most conscientious or the most guiltable adult.) Usage: “God no, Mike—you can’t make me do wonder duty! It’s midnight, and I’ve been up since dawn making Yule logs while you’ve been watching football. I’m going to sleep. If you don’t assemble Trent’s tricycle and Ashley’s princess tent and put them by the tree, I’m leaving you.”
IMPEDIMENTOR (N.) im-‘ped-i-‘men-tor A successful, accomplished older person who chooses not to instruct or assist young people who look up to him/her; and sometimes even thwarts their progress. Usage: Deborah eagerly joined the team of a high-powered attorney she admired, but the attorney ignored Deborah, hoarding high-profile projects and giving choice assignments to other associates. She was an impedimentor, who took no interest in grooming Deborah or any other would-be emulators.
HYPERSCENTILATE (V.) hy-per-‘sent-a-late To apply too much perfume, surrounding yourself in a thick, aromatic mist that causes people nearby to choke, sneeze and cough. Usage: As soon as Neil stepped into the elevator, he began wheezing, his asthma set off by the cloying cloud of Fracas somebody had hyperscentilated.
DOOMMATE (N.) ‘doom-mayt A roommate whom you tolerate by necessity, but who is difficult, even dangerous, to live with. Usage: The only sublet Ted could afford was in Inwood, and his roommate was a frightening woman who drank too much tequila and was given to night rages. Still, for $300 a month, it was worth living with a doommate. At least until his unpaid internship was over.
MEALBREAKER (N.) ‘meel-bray-ker Person who saps the cheer from a lunch or dinner with friends by not partaking of the food, or (if at a restaurant) by ordering water and a salad (for instance), then seceding from the group bill. Usage: Carmen had forgotten Dana was a mealbreaker when she invited her to her dinner party. While the others made merry, Dana politely refused every course, sipped club soda, and left early.
