December 2009
18 posts
3 tags
Surfbored
Adj. ‘surf-bord Describing the weary, eyes-glazed-over lassitude one develops after too much web-surfing. Usage: At first Jake was thrilled to have a week off for New Year’s, but after 3 solid days of sitting on the couch, watching Hulu and clicking from blog to blog, he was surfbored beyond belief.
§-An egret’s plume to John for the word.
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Eservations
N. Pl. ‘ez-zur-vay-shunz Online reservations that people make from home or work, which allow them to print out their own tickets or confirmation chits. (Also eserved (adj.) and fully eserved.) Usage: The woman flipped out at the Chinatown bus stop. She’d shown up for the 10 p.m. trip two hours early, assuming she would pay for her seat once she got on the bus, but when she tried to...
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Sno-Mo
N. ‘sno-mo Slow, labor-intensive, arduous quality of movement in snowy, slushy, icy weather, amid snowbank-lined streets and unshoveled walks. (In long form, snow- motion). Usage: They couldn’t hail a taxi in the blizzard, so they ended up walking the ten blocks home, skittering on ice patches and clambering over frozen drifts in slow, effortful sno-mo. The journey took them half an...
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Natrivity Scene
N. na-‘triv-it-tee seen A Christmas crèche that is more cutesy than august, having the (possibly unintended) effect of trivializing the occasion it commemorates. Usage: Larissa loved decorating the creche with yew boughs, and positioning the kings, camels and other figures. She placed the Christmas penguin-a knickknack from a garage sale, amid the camels. Her friend Caitlin said the...
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Kittonite
KITTONITE (N.) ‘kit-tun-nyt Kittens and cats, from the point of view of people who dislike, mistrust and shun them and (often) their owners. Usage: Rob and Neil went on a few dates, but after Neil got a two-month old ocicat, Rob vanished. Neil hadn’t realized that furry young Titus would be kittonite to their relationship, but rationalized that Rob was a little too chilly overall,...
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Pawsy
PAWSY (N.) ‘poz-zee Condition displayed by dogs and cats and other sleeping mammals when their paws tremble as they dream, imagining themselves chasing squirrels or similar. Usage: As Thud the cat napped on the sofa, her paws twitched madly. Her pawsy was doubtless produced by convincing dreams of attacking the jingle ball.
Text © Liesl Schillinger 12/9/2009
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Tiger Tramp
N. ‘ty-gur tramp Any of the comely participants involved in the extramarital romps of the formerly inscrutable golf superstar Tiger Woods. Usage: As news of the Tiger Woods scandal spread, one “other woman” after another emerged with a love story to tell or sell. Within a week, more than ten Tiger tramps had revealed themselves, and it became clear that the taciturn, no-show...
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Public Anti-Intellectual
N. ‘pub-lik ‘an-tee-in-ta-‘lek-chu-ul Outspoken commentator who writes or speaks for mass audiences, promoting conservative, xenophobic, emotion-based politics, deriding liberal values, and ignoring scientific, historic, economic and legal facts. Usage: Rush Limbaugh? Glenn Beck? Sarah Palin? Which was the most influential Public Anti-Intellectual of 2009? It was a toss-up....
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Holiday Sparit
N. ‘holl-i-day ‘spayr-it The frugal, well-meaning scheme of keeping holiday gifts to a minimum, both to avoid the orgy of unwrapping and to spare family budgets…a scheme gift-givers inevitably violate, overcome by accesses of generosity. Usage: Brimming with sensible holiday sparit, the three generations of Powells vowed to limit Christmas presents to one per family unit this...
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Holisthenics
N. holl-iss-‘Thenn-iks The seasonal exercise of sprinting from shop to shop, hunting Christmas and Hanukkah presents, lugging the purchases home and wrapping them, then lugging them the final stretch to the place where they’ll be unwrapped. (Also, the exertion of throwing and/or attending holiday parties.) Usage: Jordan lay on the sofa all day long, stirring only to order in Chinese....
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Razor Geezer
N. ‘ray-zur ‘ghee-zur Post-adolescent person who likes to propel him or herself about town on a Razor or other scooter. Usage: While shopping on 5th Avenue, Emmeline dodged taxis and threaded her way through slow-moving clots of holiday tourists only to narrowly avoid being knocked down by a handsome man in his 40’s, who was zooming against traffic at curbside on his scooter....
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Psycho Kitty
N. ‘sy-ko ‘kit-tee Infernally energetic kitten that uses its razor-sharp claws to clamber up its owners’ legs as if they were tree trunks, and races around madly seeking objects to chase, bite and claw. Usage: Trying to protect herself from the claws and fangs of her demonically interactive kitten, Devora put on tights jeans, sneakers and leather gloves, and tried to read her...
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The Audacity of Hoke
Expression †he od-‘dass-i-tee uv ‘hoak Inventive self-promotion employed to court fame and sensation. Usage: State Dinner-crasher Michaele Salahi indignantly told the media that nobody would have the “audacity” to attend a White House party uninvited. The statement would have carried more weight had she not brazened her way into the party without benefit of invitation,...
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Hide the Salahi
Expression ‘hyd †hu sa-‘la-hee Gambit in which gatecrashers insert themselves among festive proceedings, masquerading as invited guests in the manner of Tareq and Michaele Salahi. Usage: “Let’s crash the Morgan party,” Sebastian suggested. “We’re in black tie, nobody will notice. ”No,” sighed Leonie. ”I don’t want to play hide...
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Turkey Flu
N. ‘tur-kee-‘floo The vague illness which may or may not turn into something truly awful that you contract while carousing with unhale relatives at Thanksgiving, and traveling to and from the holiday HQ. Usage: Jemima’s head throbbed and felt like it was stuffed with styrofoam, her throat was raw, and her stomach was not quite right. Had she caught something from the other...