wordbirds

POLTERGUY (N.) ‘pol-tur-gī Ex-boyfriend who exerts a haunting,...

Mon, 21 May 2012 06:50:00 -0400

POLTERGUY (N.) ‘pol-tur-gī Ex-boyfriend who exerts a haunting, destructive influence on a person’s’s later relationships. Usage: Augusta had just gotten engaged to Sam when her polterguy, Mitchell, called after a long silence, reminded her of their time together, and told her he was coming to town.

Text © Liesl Schillinger, 7/22/2009 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 5/21/2012

PARROT-TOPS (N. Pl.) ‘pehr-ruht-‘tops Fashion...

Mon, 14 May 2012 01:16:00 -0400

PARROT-TOPS (N. Pl.) ‘pehr-ruht-‘tops Fashion victims who dye swathes of their hair in vivid or pastel rainbow colors– making it look, from a distance, like giant parakeets are sitting on their shoulders. (Also refers to the hairstyle itself.) Usage: “Giles, does that guy ahead of us have green hair, or am I seeing things?” “You mean the guy in the suit at the Gem Spa?” Yeah, he’s a parrot-top. It’s all the rage, didn’t you know? You go to a salon, and they bleach your hair white, then dye it any color in the crayon box. Want to get parrot-tops of our own after brunch?” (Silver Laced Polish Chicken)

Text © Liesl Schillinger, 5/14/2012 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 5/14/2012

BOBCAT (N.) ‘bob-kat Young man who is attracted to older women...

Mon, 07 May 2012 16:32:00 -0400

BOBCAT (N.) ‘bob-kat Young man who is attracted to older women and/or pursues them romantically (though he may date younger women, too). Usage: “Let’s go see Chéri,” said Juliet. “Is that the movie about that Parisian cougar and the young guy?”asked Robert. “Please,” Juliet scoffed. “The guy was a bobcat—he’s the one who went after her. She didn’t do the chasing.”

Text © Liesl Schillinger, 7/7/2009 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 5/7/2012

ELEVEXER (N.) ‘el-uh-vex-ur One who holds up the progress of an...

Mon, 07 May 2012 00:49:01 -0400

ELEVEXER (N.) ‘el-uh-vex-ur One who holds up the progress of an elevator by opening the closing doors at the last minute (whether by pushing a button or by jamming an arm in the door) to squeeze in. Usage: Karen was about to lose her mind. Not one, not two, but three elevexers held up the journey to the 18th floor, squeaking in with guilty smiles and false apologies as the doors were trying to close. What was their problem? There were three other elevators, couldn’t they have taken one of them?

Text © Liesl Schillinger, 8/17/2009 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 5/7/2012

PROCRASTIDATE (V.) pro-‘kras-ti-dayt 1) To put off...

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:57:00 -0400

PROCRASTIDATE (V.) pro-‘kras-ti-dayt 1) To put off attempting to date anyone for various reasons (e.g., workaholism, intimacy issues, laziness, dearth of prospects, addiction to WoW or Call of Duty). 2) To date unseriously in order to put off (until never) getting involved with someone to whom you could become genuinely attached. Usage: Rob was well-liked at the office, where he worked long hours, and outside the office, where he struck people as funny and confident. But he never asked anyone out. He told himself he’d get around to it, but for the moment, he was happy procrastidating.
Text © Liesl Schillinger, 8/13/2009 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 4/30/2012

LOTOTOMIZED (Adj.) la-‘tot-ah-myzd Describing the feelings of...

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 01:38:00 -0400

LOTOTOMIZED (Adj.) la-‘tot-ah-myzd Describing the feelings of confusion, exhaustion and loss of identity suffered by adults distracted by the clamorous, yammering company of little kids who need them. Usage: Before the twins were born, Dara and Jake ran a business, worked out daily, led a busy social life, and gardened and decorated to their hearts’ content. But soon after the girls arrived, they quit the gym, let their house fall into shambles, rarely saw their friends, and felt scatty and unfocussed nearly all of the time- they were completely lototomized.

Text © Liesl Schillinger, 7/1/2009 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 4/23/2012

SHOWPSHAW (N.) ‘shope-shaw A person “puts on a showpshaw” when...

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 00:21:44 -0400

SHOWPSHAW (N.) ‘shope-shaw A person “puts on a showpshaw” when he attempts to deflect a compliment by denying it was justified, whether it was or not. Usage: When the guys at the pick-up basketball game thumped Pete on the back for getting three slam-dunks in a row, Pete couldn’t help putting on a showpshaw. ‘It was just luck!’ he said.

§-An egret’s plume to Lawrence for the concept.

Text © Liesl Schillinger, 4/18/2011 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 4/16/2012

E-QUAIL (V.) ‘ee-kwayl To feel dread upon receiving an...

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 10:07:00 -0400

E-QUAIL (V.) ‘ee-kwayl To feel dread upon receiving an email from a hostile or irksome source, and to resist opening it for fear it might contain distressing or irritating news, or increase your workload. Usage: When a message from his boss landed in his inbox, Rowan e-quailed and scrolled down the screen so he wouldn’t have to even look at it.

§-An egret’s plume to Cressida for the concept.

Text © Liesl Schillinger 4/2/2009 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 4/9/2012

SUPERPERVISOR (N.) soo-per-‘purv-vyz-ur Supervisor known for...

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 10:31:33 -0400

SUPERPERVISOR (N.) soo-per-‘purv-vyz-ur Supervisor known for making hiring choices based on sex appeal, and/or for making inappropriate overtures to employees. Usage: On her first day of work Candace thought it was odd that so many women in her department were 5’7” and red-haired, like her. But as the boss came over and started hovering and flirting, she realized it was no accident; he was a superpervisor.

Text © Liesl Schillinger 7/14/2009 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 4/2/2012

SMOOVE (N.) smoov A man who, like the author of the satirical...

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 09:38:00 -0400

SMOOVE (N.) smoov A man who, like the author of the satirical “Smoove B” column in The Onion, uses heavy-handed courtship methods that repel his target. Usage: As Tristan, hair-gelled, cologned, and American Appareled from head-to-toe, sidled up to a group of women at Radegast, hoping to unleash the “Mystery Method” pick-up technique, the women moved to the other side of the bar. “What a smoove,” Courtney said to Tara and Bethany.

Text © Liesl Schillinger 7/2/2009 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 3/26/2012

BLOGGERDUDGEON (N.) ‘blog-gur-‘dudj-jun The sense of...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 20:20:00 -0400

BLOGGERDUDGEON (N.) ‘blog-gur-‘dudj-jun The sense of indignation, injury and self-pity felt by gossip bloggers when they themselves fall prey to unflattering media attention. Usage: For two years, Natasha had mocked the great, shamed the nearly-great, and personally destroyed at least 20 budding careers with her blog posts. But when her latest career move was jeered online and off, she succumbed to bloggerdudgeon, posting multiple self-justifying defenses.

Text © Liesl Schillinger 3/28/2009 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 3/19/2012

MASCULARA (N.) mas-kew-‘lair-a Mascara, when applied by trendy...

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 00:38:20 -0400

MASCULARA (N.) mas-kew-‘lair-a Mascara, when applied by trendy men. Usage: Ryan glued on fake eyelashes, then brushed them thickly with masculara to achieve the desired dark-lashed wicked raptor look.

Text © Liesl Schillinger 6/24/2009 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 3/12/2012

SCREENRAVER (N.) ‘skreen-ray-vur A colleague who can be...

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 01:25:00 -0500

SCREENRAVER (N.) ‘skreen-ray-vur A colleague who can be overheard talking back to his or her computer all day long, responding to such stimuli as amusing or irritating news items, email, videos, photos, etc. Also: screenrave (v.) screenraving, (ger.) Usage: Miranda was trying to file her report, but the screenravers in the cubicles around hers made it hard to concentrate. Leah was singing along to Bruno Mars on YouTube, Don was swearing at his email, and Stan was crowing over a Huffpo video, as usual.

Text © Liesl Schillinger 5/5/2010 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 3/5/2012

RATIONALOSER (N.) ‘ra-shun-a-‘loo-zur One who continually...

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 00:04:13 -0500

RATIONALOSER (N.) ‘ra-shun-a-‘loo-zur One who continually makes excuses for not making life changes that lie within his power, while ignoring the most obvious obstacles to his progress (lack of self-discipline, destructive relationships, unrealistic expectations). Also (v.) rationalose, to talk oneself out of constructive change. Usage: Why hadn’t Darya finished college, quit the job she hated, or lost 20 pounds? She blamed her parents, her boyfriend, the economy, her horoscope…but in reality, she was a rationaloser, more interested in pondering explanations for her paralysis than in stirring herself to action.

Text © Liesl Schillinger 7/29/2009 Image ©Elizabeth Zechel, 2/27/2012

HOUSEFLITTER (N.) ‘howss-flit-turPerson who leaps...

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 12:21:00 -0500

HOUSEFLITTER (N.) ‘howss-flit-turPerson who leaps seamlessly from one housesitting, catsitting, or plantsitting gig to the next, managing to live for months (or years) without a permanent address. Also (v.) houseflit and (ger.) houseflitting. Usage: Avi managed to survive as a barely-employed actor in Manhattan by living rent-free at friends’ places, couch-surfing at one apartment after another when his friends were away, looking after their pets and plants Though he didn’t get many acting callbacks, he was in huge demand as a houseflitter.

—§An egret’s plume to Jennifer for the concept.

VELCRO ON (V. Phrase) ‘vel-kro ‘awn To become genuinely...

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 02:19:00 -0500

VELCRO ON (V. Phrase) ‘vel-kro ‘awn To become genuinely enmeshed and attached in a romantic relationship. (Far less common than the reverse phenomenon: the failure to velcro on.) Usage: “How are things with James?” “Oh, fairly pointless. We’re having fun, but he’s not really velcroing on—there’s no real lasting connection, so I’m losing interest.”

SEPHORAID (N.) suh-‘fo-rayd A stealthy invasion of a...

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 08:28:00 -0500

SEPHORAID (N.) suh-‘fo-rayd A stealthy invasion of a Sephora store one makes on the way to a date or party, using the store’s makeup and perfume to spruce up, then leaving without buying anything. (Also (V.) as the activity: TO SEPHORAID and SEPHORAIDING.)Usage: En route to meeting Jake at the movies, Gwen made a Sephoraid, ducking into a Sephora to apply Clarins foundation, Lancôme lipstick, Dior eyeshadow, and Chanel face powder. Quickly checking her handiwork in a mirror, she spritzed herself with Fracas and raced out the door.

UNDERTAIN (V.) un-dur-‘tayn 1)To give low-key parties that...

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 08:44:00 -0500

UNDERTAIN (V.) un-dur-‘tayn 1)To give low-key parties that offer no special food, drink or decor. Usage: Stu and his friends hung out at each other’s places a lot, and undertained the same way they had in college. Someone would bring chips, someone would bring beer, and someone would go to the deli to replenish supplies, as needed. 2)To host fewer social events than you ought to. Usage: Nora invited Mae over for dinner all the time and was a little hurt that Mae never reciprocated. Why did Mae undertain? she wondered. Did she think her place was too small? Or was she insecure about hosting?

CELEBUTAUNT(V.) suh-‘leb-yu-tont To gloat over the flaws,...

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 01:24:00 -0500

CELEBUTAUNT(V.) suh-‘leb-yu-tont To gloat over the flaws, misfortunes or gaffes of celebrities. Also (N.) a published item or spoken remark that mocks a celeb. Usage: Evan was obsessed with reality TV, and loved to come up with stinging putdowns of cast members to make his friends laugh. But when he launched a blog to spread his celebutaunts, it went viral, and he became a target of celebutaunting himself. (Snowy Plover)

RECIPLAY (V.) ‘ress-i-play To cook without a recipe, adding a...

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 23:12:00 -0500

RECIPLAY (V.) ‘ress-i-play To cook without a recipe, adding a little bit of this, a little bit of that, sometimes producing a triumph, sometimes a mess. Usage: Ethan was proud of his freestyling way of cooking without cookbooks, recipes, or measuring spoons—even though the results were often inedible. But sometimes his reciplaying produced a masterpiece, which bummed out his roommates, because he couldn’t repeat it, having had no recipe.